Dish: In-The-Mood Food

Yes, there's a difference between vanilla and Viagra, but a sexy meal is an astonishingly effective tactic in the war of amour. Perhaps it's the wine you polished off with supper, perhaps it's the calling-all-senses approach to savoring your food. It could be that your meal was chock-full of pheremones and neurotransmitters. Or maybe the idea of being served and seduced (or of serving and seducing) was irresistible in itself. So here are a few pointers toward luscious lust ...

#1: It doesn't work if they don't eat it.
It may take the spontaneity out of things, but very few true omnivores exist in the world. Foods to avoid unless you know your lover-to-be indulges: red meat, fishy fish, shellfish, ham, pate, nuts, anything hot and spicy -- all traditional aphrodisiacs. Do your homework.

#2: Five fingers full
Small bites are the key to an enticing meal. It keeps the pace languorous -- people tend to slow down and relax when they eat with their hands. And all that licking of fingers is so suggestive. You can also feed each other should the whim strike. Nix the soup and salad, and avoid fondue -- it's sexy, but too heavy. Your aim is for a mellow food buzz, not a severe food coma.

#3: Surprise!
One trap novices fall into when planning concupiscient cookery is making every dish divinely rich. Your palate is just like the rest of your body -- it's more stimulated when you mix things up. Follow a particularly toothsome dish with one that's light and refreshing. Something sweet could be followed by a bit of bitter, to take the edge off. Keep the courses coming, and make 'em all different. It's a metaphor for how you'll be in the sack, of course -- plus, it makes your target feel extra-pampered. This means you only need to serve a little of everything. (Make sure to have an extra stash in the fridge for the inevitable postcoital hunger, though.)

#4: Work for it.
Do what you can in advance to give yourself relaxing (and drinking) time with your intended, but it's good to fuss in the kitchen a little -- it proves you're really cooking, rather than relying on a caterer, household help or fancy takeout. If your guest is uncomfortable being served, assign an easy task like corking wine or slicing cheese. Those who relish being waited upon hand and foot, however, should be indulged.

#5. Tickle with a tipple.
As they say, a bit of liquor gets the knickers doffed quicker -- but the goal is a rosy glow, not a pink elephant. Pair each course with a three-ounce pour of wine -- buy it in splits or invest in a vacuum sealer (or dedicate the rest of each bottle to cooking or mulling), since a new wine for each course adds to the whole "special" feeling you're trying to achieve.

#6. The oyster conundrum
Oysters are such a fabled aphrodisiac that serving them is tantamount to unzipping your pants right at the table -- which may be just the effect you're after. Make sure your dining companion loves them first; many foolish people don't, and oysters are expensive and time-consuming to shuck. The sexy shellfish are reputed to have love-stirring qualities because they're high in sex hormone-boosting zinc, so go for similarly zincy caviar, beef, mushrooms or nuts instead.

Once you've zeroed in on your target and done your culinary homework, it's time to check out some aphrodisiac recipes.

By Julie Ross, a San Francisco-based food and wine writer.

Photos: Getty Images

Comments

[Sargon Bighorn]

The one thing left out of this piece is what the pictures tell. Be under 40.

[Jeff]

Actually, people who don't eat oysters aren't foolish, they're smart. Oysters are filter feeders, which means they eat by having food pass through them. So, if you're an oyster, you don't live in clean water, you live in dirty water which has things that can pass through you. Since they are not cooked, oysters on the half-shell are still alive, with their heart beating when you eat them, sewage water and all. They carry a bacteria called vibrio vulnificus (going off memory so not quite sure of the spelling). From what I recall, the statistic is 50% of individuals who encounter this micro-organism die. The other 50% usually have to have multiple limbs removed. So, bottom line, unless the ER is your ideal magic evening, don't eat raw oysters.

[jason]

Ok I have had oysters on the half shell and I am still able to type ::not with my toes:: and walk. And clearly I haven't died.....interesting theory though.

[nutloaf]

Rule #1 is ALL-IMPORTANT! Just ASK your guest ahead of time what he or she would prefer not to eat or drink. I don't eat meat or poultry and it never ceases to amaze me that very few people who don't know me very well and who invite me to a meal think to ask such a simple question as, "Is there anything which you would you prefer that I not serve?" When that question isn't forthcoming, of course I will mention my dietary proclivities, but I would prefer that I be given that opportunity by the prospective host rather than having to introduce the subject myself.

In addition, choosing courses which can be fully, or almost fully, prepared ahead of serving is important as well. As delicious as it might be, halting the progression of courses for fifteen minutes to flash-fry and drain the tempura can be a mood-killer.

I'm surprised no mention was made of creating the ambiance. Elements like music and illumination can be almost as important as what's on the plate.

[Alex]

i'm a vegetarian...btw, fruits like melon, cantaloupe, strawberries, oranges, passion fruit, etc... are great for things like that. you basically want to stir the senses. red wine has a more passionate influence, yet i find that it is too heavy and leads to rougher sex. white wine is best for gentle love making. make sure the colors correspond with what kind of sex you want. red and dark colors are more animalistic and incite a more energetic fuck. they also correspond to the protein and zinc in the foods mentioned above.

[Loky]

Didnt #1 contradict #6?

[Mitch]

Kind of titillating. How 'bout some recipes?

[Greg]

I find hint 5 to be a bit off the mark. Truly special and romantic meals demand special and unique wines. Such wines can be found at a range of prices, but the bottom bargain bin is often elusive for such delights. That being said, who wants to spend money on a lovely wine only to snuff much of it out in a cooking frenzy? Vacuum sealers are notoriously unreliable depending on the wine, though I find storing wine in the fridge does temper the oxidation. Sadly splits aren't much a solution as the choices available in half bottles are limited and rather sorry unless you intend drinking expensive sweet wines through the affair. A romantic evening with delicious wines that aren't wasted does not require a feast of Bacchus ending in a drunken mess. Purchasing a bottle or two to go with a variety of dishes is a strategy I find works well. Wine even evolves over the evening as it oxidizes and flavours come and go with different dishes. A particularly well thought approach can be the split of a sweet Sauternes or Barsac paired with something rich and unctuous, like pate or a roquefort dish, followed by a bottle of Claret for two main dishes, perhaps of mushrooms (risotto?)and then something richer like lamb, beef, or even venison. Then finish off the Sauternes for dessert. This keeps each sip exciting without breaking the bank and wasting delicious wine!

venividivictuals.blogspot.com

[Danny]

I'm sorry, but in a time when gay rights are changing so dramatically, I expect a little more solid news coverage than this.

[erik]

Alex, I love having vegetarians over for dinner. They understand that lots of people don't eat the way that they do so they tend to negotiate from the beginning. Once I find out they're a vegetarian, I simply admit I don't know how to cook that way, and we negotiate into this scenario: I host, provide dining room, utensils, all ingredients and with guest's total agreement, He stays with me in the kitchen and teaches me to cook one of his favorite dishes. I've found vegetarians love to help non-vegetarians learn to cook their way and this can become a very romantic shared effort, not your normal romantic dinner. Oh, BTW, I do all the work -my guest just gives me instructions. Can be very romantic if handled correctly (a little semi-dry white wine if guest imbibes), and immensely fun which can be a major component of romance.