Wax Your Sack?

This past Easter I was hanging at my friends' home. In a post-dinner, way-too-much-food-and-wine coma the conversation turned to body hair maintenance (don't say "manscaping" to me). I was surprised to find a few of the guys actually get their balls waxed, but that's not all. Rob goes in for what he calls a "balls, shaft and crack wax."

I was already glowing, thanks to the wine, but I warmed a few shades with the aforementioned sense of superiority that sprang to mind on learning of my friends' masochistic madness. What the hell were they thinking? Obviously, they didn't understand the simplicity and safety of a modern tri-blade razor that allows you to trim up whenever you want, no appointment necessary.

But damn if they kept rambling about the benefits -- smoother, longer-lasting results and hair that grows back finer and softer, making each trip to the waxer less frequent and more comfortable, unlike shaving, which actually requires more frequent treatments. Still, the scene from "The 40-Year Old Virgin" raced through by head. All I could think was, "Hell, no! Not me! Not ever!"

Fast forward a couple of months and a few more gushing conversations from the boys and I warmed up to the idea of going under the spatula. Rob recommended his guy, Caesar on Castro Street, not far from my house. I made the call; he sounded cute. Damn, what if I got a hard-on? Or worse, what if I wailed like a baby? Or both?

With five days until my appointment, I had plenty of time to worry, and damn if I didn't. What also sucked is that the hair has to be at least 1/4" long, which means no shaving. So I was nervous and with itchy balls all week. I almost buckled and gave in to the razor, but the promise of the boys coming out ultra-smooth kept me strong.

I arrived at the studio; Caesar opened the door and he was cute. At this point I was too nervous to worry about getting even a semi, much less a full-fledged, hard-on. One less thing to worry about! He had a very calming and professional manner. He had me get undressed and lie on the table. If a complete stranger is going to be applying hot wax to your nuts, what's the point in modesty, I guess.

Caesar took a small wooden spatula, kind of like a flat spoon, and applied an area of wax about the size of a quarter. Since it's a hard wax, no cloth strips were necessary. Within seconds of the molten wax touching the skin it hardened. Then gently, using one finger to lift an edge, he deftly zipped it off. Holy sh*t, that stings! But only for a second, because he immediately applied pressure to the area with his fingertips, which quickly took the sting away.

After a few minutes, I warmed up and relaxed a bit. I started to think a little flirting would be fun, but Caesar was as smooth and clean-cut as my balls were becoming.

Twenty minutes or so later it was time for the fine pruning: Basically, the stubborn individual hairs that resisted the wax are removed by tweezers. A lotion is then applied to soothe the skin; those with coarser hair may experience some irritation. My irritation lasted about two days, while my friend Rob experienced no irritation at all. It's recommended that no other lotion be used on the freshly waxed skin for 24 hours; however, lube is OK (trust me, I asked).

Everything was awesome after the irritation calmed down. Oddly, you may not realize how the hair on the shaft affects the sensation until it's all been removed from the follicle. I felt like I was 15 again, but with none of the angst! And, as I mentioned, waxing really does feel superior to shaving because the hair has been removed from the follicle, leaving the surface smoother than a razor ever can.

You can expect to enjoy the results for about two weeks before the hair starts to grow back. It doesn't itch, and with each waxing you will remain hairless longer. If you're into smooth balls for maximum contact, and that really means sensation, I say bring the boys in to a trusted professional and give it a shot!

If you're in San Francisco, check out:

Caesar Jimenez
Licensed skin therapist
491 Castro St., San Francisco, CA 94114
415/794-5701
groom-sf.net

Comments

[SAINIANA]

I,have been going through the story about wax your sack on web ,ireally loved it so ,if iwould get more information on this ,by the way this is from fiji m really interested about it .And if it is possible for u guys to sent me ome of the stuffs used like the wax & lotion ext.I hope u would accept my request .THANK YOU from your newlly joint member SAIRUSI OF FIJI.